22 August 2006

September 2006 Predictions

A little early but what the hell?

1. VP Richard "Dick" Cheney will go into hospital for a few days amidst rumors of a "mild" HEART ATTACK. But it will only turn out to be a 'cardio-irregularity'. And who here doesn't think that Cheney suffers from "occasional irregularity"? Perhaps he will wait until October, to maximize the sympathy effect?

2. Joe Lieberman will fold his "independent" campaign for re-election. The coop-d-gracie (knife in the back...chest?) will be delivered by none other than Bill Clinton (who campaigned for Joe's 1970 run for CT state-senate while on summer-break from Yale). The Polls (and Hillary) will do him in, as he is now tied with Lamont, over 60% of Americans now disapprove of the "war" in Iraq, and the DNC needs to 'clear the decks' for a run at three GOP House seats. Plus, Connecticut is no friend of George W. Bush's (the only time they gave their electoral votes to a Bush was in 1988, before they got to know him).

Timing is everything in Politics, so they say, and I would expect Joe's withdrawal to cause Cheney's heart-attack, but then it could go the other way 'round, whereby Joe slinks off while the spotlight is on Dick.

3. "TROOPS COMING HOME" the headline will read after W announces the "plan". 10,000 or 20,000 or 30,000 the number really doesn't matter because like the "National Guard Troops to Secure the Mexican Border" the actual 're-deployment' will not happen, but it will damn sure get in the "news" before Election Day.

4. OSAMA'S DEAD ... much like #3, the "truth" will be revealed later, but the buzz will be all the rage for a few days. (but then OBL will dutifully release his "hey I'm still here" tape in the interim before Election Day just to remind everyone that there still is a "War" on TERROR. I wonder if the arabic text in the background will read "Stay the Course"?)

All of these should see fruition by Halloween at the latest. And of course, if they can figure out a way to pressure Justice Ginsberg into resigning (fake X-rays/terminal cancer?) they'll have a new Supreme Court battle to energize the "faithful".

Time will tell.